Knowing When to Walk Away

Photo by Himanshu Singh Gurjar on Unsplash.com

There comes a time in life when you know you need to walk away. Whatever the situation is, you just know it. 

I'm a born optimist. One of my MOs is to always assume best intent. In whatever someone does. Even if they do something hurtful or isn't there for you. Always assume best intent. But when they consistently seem to let you down, there comes a time when even the biggest optimist has to say "Enough is enough. I am done letting you drain me."

​For some reason, optimists like me tend to hold on to someone or something in the hopes that it'll turn around. And time and time again, we are disappointed. "Maybe this time..." Hope is a good thing, don't get me wrong. Hope is what drives us forward in life. But sometimes the universe sends us strong signals that what we hope for isn't what's best for us.
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How do we know when it's time to let go? Whatever it is - a job, a person, an old pair of shoes - we know it's time to let go when we start to feel drained by it. ​​

"But this is my dream. I've always wanted to have a successful ________ business." When you work your ass off every day, do you find yourself inspired at the end of the day? Exhausted, yet inspired? Or just exhausted? 

I know people who are striving towards their dreams, but at the end of the day they're still inspired. Sure, we have bad days every now and then, but the overall feeling is that of inspiration. If the overall feeling is that of exhaustion and desperation, it's time to move on.

"But I know this person really cares about me. Maybe this time he'll start to show that he cares. Maybe if I give him one more chance, he'll actually be there for me." Again, after seeing him and whatever high you may have felt during or after, do you feel overall drained? Or energized? Inspired? Or compromised?

If you feel drained or compromised, you know it's no longer healthy for you. You can't keep giving situations or people the benefit of the doubt if it's draining you or making you feel like a part of you is dying inside.

STOP GIVING AWAY YOUR POWER.

Sure, we want to live a life of empathy and compassion. But that also includes empathy and compassion for YOURSELF. You cannot live a life of service, you cannot feed other people's energy, if you don't have any yourself.

I used to desperately yearn to learn what my calling and purpose in life was. I was never really good at one thing. So I never knew that one thing I was put on this planet to do.

I've since learned - through a series of life events, self introspection, and study - that my life's purpose doesn't necessarily have to be one big thing that hits me over the head. My purpose is a process unfolding. I believe that every day I'm being shown and guided towards it - whether it is one big thing that does hit me over the head one day, or whether it's a series of things that collectively make an imprint on the world. Like making people happy by the way I treat them. Like changing a few people's perspectives with these blogs.

My job is to point myself in the general direction I think I want to go, take a step towards it, and then LISTEN. Listen to God and the universe. Listen to what it's trying to tell me. Listen for the direction it's trying to point me in. 

And sometimes that direction is AWAY from whatever it is you're contemplating walking away from.

One of my favorite quotes from Glennon Doyle is "Be still and know. Then act. That is all."  I don't think anyone's made that into a meme yet, but I don't know why because it's so profound.

Talking about that quote is another blog post in and of itself, but in short, I believe that the answers are provided to us in the silence. Through our gut or instincts. If you feel drained by something, take that as a sign from God that this is not right for you. He wants you to be fulfilled, so he's trying to point you in another direction.

Listen to that. Trust it. Trust yourself. Trust God. Trust the universe. And walk away. Then know that the universe will take that as a strong signal that you are strong and you know it. You'll be okay. And the universe will conspire to make that true. God will take care of you.

Walk away. Open yourself to possibilities that you never imagined. And step forward with the hope that something better for you is coming...whoever, whatever, and whenever it is. You'll be just fine.

-- Love always, Julie